While not being a huge fan of the big box retailers and
supermarkets in our area, I find them a necessary evil in my weekly pursuit for
things such as dishwashing liquid, groceries and other various hard/soft line
goods for which I am an end user. If I
am not growing it or I outright must have it, nothing says pandemonium like a
quick trip to Walmart or Target. And as
I feel no remorse or shame for making such trips, I try to avoid it like a
protestant deacon avoids making facial contact with a fellow church member in
the liquor store. However, today I never
have felt such a longing for said establishments. Being a national holiday with many financial
institutions and governments being closed in observance, I have found myself in
a bit of a quandary. As I am home
sorting mounds of accumulations and making a determination as to what is to be trash,
what is to be donated, and what will inevitably become crap that we keep
against our better judgment, I felt those pangs of hunger starting to thrust
themselves upon me. As any normal male
with the ability to do any and everything better than the others who share his
domicile, I bypassed the leftovers and the pots & pans all together and
jumped in my truck. As I headed to the
grocery to procure the certain something that would cure the emptiness in my
stomach, I noticed that my wallet was neither in the same location nor the same
condition from where I had left it very early this morning. As I opened the ragged black leather to allay
any concerns I may have had, I found that my fair-haired eldest daughter has
borrowed my credit card as she has pressing obligations with her
compatriots. Not too concerned, I
flipped up the inner compartment that holds my driver’s license only to reveal
that the space normally containing my debit card had been appropriated by my
lovely wife and our younger offspring for errands that will require
remuneration. While this would normally
not be an issue on any other day than a Sunday, I smartly headed to Wells Fargo
to cash a check. Two blocks from the
bank, I suddenly felt a coldness and tingling of the hair standing up on the
back of my neck as I realized that in honor of the holiday, of which there are
2 today, I will be doing no financial transactions. With the same feelings as a child who got
socks and underwear from his grandmother on Christmas, I turned through a
vacant parking lot and headed home. In
almost the same time it took for me to remember the holiday, as I reached for
my tumbler of coffee several quarters fell into the cupholder from the heaping
pile in the console; I was coin-rich and the Dollar General is ahead on the
left. As I pulled into the parking spot
with the same fervor as a lottery winner cashing his ticket, I began to assay
my silver and copper bounty. It amounted
to $ 5.37! I walked into the store,
began to “shop” and became reacquainted with the joyous flavors from my
childhood, which are those of potted meat, Hostess fruit pies, and DG brand
chips. So, not only did I come up with a
rational solution to my problem, get the very first parking spot next to the
front door, and awaken fond memories from my youth; I had enough money left
over to wash down my feast with a Fanta Strawberry Soda. Ain’t life grand!
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