Black, Brown, or a Combination of the Two

While I am no stranger to the fine art of self-deprecation, there are some things that really should remain unsaid. However with my quick willingness to enlighten others as to their fashion miscues, I fear that repercussions from the karma bug would far outweigh any ridicule for my following confession. At my house we are suffering from the Great Lightbulb Drought of 1994. As I have felt the negative effects of this lack of unused filaments since I married Vicki, I claim poetic license in deeming 1994 as the official year it began. This morning in a hurried state of preparation, I was forced to get dressed without the luxury of illumination, thus feeling the full effect of the drought. For what I'm is some mysterious and mythical reason, there is a preponderance of various wattages of used lightbulbs interspersed throughout my home, but not one replacement bulb of any size. So in order to keep from having to go into the school office and sign-in Anna for being tardy, I forged ahead and quickly dressed. It wasn't until just a few moments ago, in the Walgreens parking lot after dropping my keys upon returning to my chariot, did I notice the glaring error of donning my daily vestment. Right there on oil stained concrete, straddling a chewed piece of bubble gum, were my Allen Edmonds soft leather loafers. While the act of my wearing these shoes is in no way problematic, the fact that the onyx black one on my left foot was never intended to be worn with the distressed brown one on my right foot, it does explain the reason for my self-damning post which I'm hoping will avert further, more egregious embarrassment, at a later less-than-opportune time.