A Legacy is Meant to be Honored

Over the past few weeks I have read some very heartfelt Posts and Blogs in regard to the loss of loved ones who have made an ultimate impact on the writer’s life.  Because of the age of a majority of those people I follow, these great stories and memories, which I have been blessed to read, are generally referring to parents or an older aunt or uncle.  A few of these Posts have honored grand parents, friends or longtime coworkers.   Whoever reads these outpourings of love and remembrance cannot help but feel the immediate sting as they are taken back to a time when they endured a similar loss in their lives.  In my case, just as fast as I feel the pain, the happy memories and the feeling of warmth that was the love that I shared with those I lost, engulfs my spirit and forces a moment of repose, no matter where I am or what I am doing.

Five and a half years have passed since I lost the two greatest men that ever impacted my life.  I must confess that I have not yet to recover fully, nor do I think I ever will.  In order to keep going and be able to function in a manner that would be fitting to the honor of my father and of my father-in-law, I have not until recently begun to act and perform in such a way that I feel they would be proud.  I allowed my grief to take over my spirit and live my life from a tremendously dark place, full of self-pity, loathing, and immeasurable bitterness.  While I have three wonderful children and a God-given blessing as a wife, they too, have hurt over these losses and doubly so, due to what is nothing more than inaction on my part to re-engage into my own life and completely give, these whom I love more than life itself, the opportunity to continue making memories with me, as I did with those that were such a great loss in my life at the times of their passing.

I have turned the corner and I have realized that all the while I was crying over the passing of both my parents and my father-in-law, the voids that their absences created were not to be filled with bitterness, but with embracing their legacy and living fully for my family as they would expect me to do.   No matter the obstacle, be it physical infirmity, a poor career decision or just a plain run of bad luck, these whom I loved so very much, would persevere at any and all costs to have made life move on, no matter how much it hurt.  So as I live my life now, in order to create a legacy of my own for Nolon Ray III, Mary Girl and my little Anna Bell, I have chosen to honor the legacy and heritage that these great people gave to me, and once again return to be that “full-on” Nolon as my father called it, and be that triumphant winner he taught me to be, whether in a moment of victory or in one of those short lived life lessons that we call defeat.

As a further step to insure that others who are still with us, whom also were great and positive influences on my life, will always know how grateful I am for their impact on my life, I am going to seek them out and share with them how much I love them and how much their legacy has meant to me.  Be it several of my relatives, in-law, outlaw, or blood related; to the children of Percy Howard for the respect and admiration I had for their father; to Jim Albritton and Steve Wetzel, who taught me at a very young age to be tough and know that I can win, no matter the odds; to Bob Goolsby, who through his selfless love of his defensive line (and I know this was hard for Coach because of the likes of Nolon Saucier, Bobby Simmons, Oliver Davis and John Bailey) and his own brand of football (the infamous “43 lay down” and “ ’explitive’…Saucier, Simmons, take a lap!” ), showed me how a real man bridges the gap between his Christian beliefs and a secular world; Frank Gunn, Bruce Fields, Danny and Meade Draughn, Jules Eustice, Charlotte Breal, GH English, Wendell Graham, Sandra Gunn, Margaret Reedy, Leon Bedsole, Dick and Mary Bristol, Billy Patterson, Johnny Martin, Ed Williams for showing me that loving and mentoring young people who are not your own, is an obligation and responsibility, not an option; Paul Roberts for showing me that accounting is the language of business and hard work must be tempered with love and admiration of family; Mike Marcellus for being a beacon and a mentor in a field of which I knew nothing; to several of my friend’s parents who are still with us as well, Joan Wansley, Betty McCormick, Jennie Graham, Joanne Middleton, Carol Durbin, Bud Higgins for being gracious hosts and for watching over me as your own, when Mom and Dad were not able to be there.

As the moments pass and memories flood our minds, we all have these fond recollections for those who made this unique experience, our own life.  And while I named just a tiny few of those who were special to me, at any given moment in time and based on any particular memory at hand, this list constantly grows and changes as does the breeze blowing off the Gulf.  Please take this sage wisdom from a middle-aged writer and benefit from my mistakes and avoid paying a large price to overcome an abundance of missteps: look back with fondness and gratitude, but focus on the future with the same resolve and vigor, as those who were influences on your lives.  Any pain is replaced by an uncompromising determination to leave a living legacy for those who are most important in your lives and the joyful memories will be transformed into a magic recollection of blessings that are never to be equaled or forgotten.